i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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