Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize