dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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