k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
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i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!