sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Boobs speak an international language.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now