Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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