You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance