This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize