I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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