my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Randomize
