Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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