One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
