i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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