Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
