Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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