You're so nebulous sometimes
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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