What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
