yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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