Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
