Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
