My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
