Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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