so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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