Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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