How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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