Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
