Cold hands, warm shart.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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