Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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