I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
