I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
