How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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