i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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