this boner is exhausting
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants