is wine microwaveable?
birth control should be required to get into college
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.