So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first