Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?

  (760): View more from California

  I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool. (912): What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar? (760): I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out. http://tfl.nu/o1sk
  Replies (26) Good night (4715) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): apparently farting at a cop is considered assault. http://tfl.nu/4f0p
  Replies (24) Good night (1609) Bad night (3903)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him http://tfl.nu/fwf2
  Replies (5) Good night (3217) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :) http://tfl.nu/xxdx
  Replies (15) Good night (5981) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  wtf?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now. (412): wtf? (610): Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit. http://tfl.nu/b93y
  Replies (22) Good night (969) Bad night (3598)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant. http://tfl.nu/xvk7
  Replies (34) Good night (18165) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month? http://tfl.nu/9rfa
  Replies (6) Good night (1713) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard. http://tfl.nu/avz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1027) Bad night (2660)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry. http://tfl.nu/s428
  Replies (3) Good night (1472) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list! http://tfl.nu/ms7h
  Replies (20) Good night (1343) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan. http://tfl.nu/tlw1
  Replies (14) Good night (645) Bad night (1763)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You went home with a man in a loincloth

  (914): View more from New York

  I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): You went home with a man in a loincloth (914): I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween??? http://tfl.nu/0bv2
  Replies (2) Good night (1336) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there http://tfl.nu/19cw
  Replies (3) Good night (305) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao http://tfl.nu/25uv
  Replies (3) Good night (603) Bad night (273)

Randomize