just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night