I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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