just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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