I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
