i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
