He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
