girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is Oprah even human
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
