Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
