I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
time to smoke my breakfast
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
