So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
