You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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