Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
