I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize