i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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