You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
