So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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