the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
they need to just BURY HIM!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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