i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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