I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
