If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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