Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
