he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
