Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
