so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
