I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Is Oprah even human
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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