You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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