Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
