so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
