quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Panties = found
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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