Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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