PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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