Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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