My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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